Note — I don’t want you to think this means you need to quantify life or imagine there’s an index to place yourself in to. I’m just writing this to begin the conversation of lifes worth.
All we’ve managed was a snap of the fingers and the first quarter of the year is already up. Another blink and we’ll be halfway through. But since chapter ’17 started, I’ve felt like I’m in transit. Prepping myself to take the next flight. I want you to take a second to think about all the decisions you’ve made in the last 24 hours. Have you considered that your everyday choices amount to bigger ones? Whether today is the day you’ll sleep in or hit the gym, whether you’ll read more books and so on, each of these are contributing to a bigger picture. As we journey, there will always be pivotal decisions we’ll be forced to make. It’s one reason to become mindful of the choices we make in our day to day lives. But it’s not always easy. It’s easier to lose sight of what will make your life better in the long run than it is to drop a bad habit. Well the thing is, at some point we’ll be faced with that choice.
At this very moment, by its appearance, my life is a spark of light between one instance of darkness and another. The moments of darkness, however often, remind me that whether it appears right in front of me or its in the background, pain exists. Because words often point in the right direction, they ignite flames of discontentment that perhaps lie dormant within you. It’s why we easily from our highs to lows. Words become our emotional triggers. A reminder that there is something that keeps bugging you. I’ve found that the happier I am, the more I’ve allowed openness meaning I’m at my most vulnerable. That vulnerability has opened me up to the why it feels like something is missing conversation. It’s brought me to seek healing. Healing of wounds, scars, experiences. Any constant suppression of stress, worry or pain isn’t worth missing my flight or worse catching the wrong one. I’ll tell you one sure way to “ruin” your life is to watch your wounds claim power. Unknowingly self-label yourself either by sensitivity, anxiety, frustration or even your childhood experiences.
When we think of worth, we think of anything with some sort of “tangible” attachment. An example is our weight. We talk about weight so often that we view a figure as part of our worth, value, idea of perfection instead of as a part of our physical health. We risk our mental health with endless obsessions of weight transformation, calorie counting and bodily hype. Which cannot be what life is worth. A healthy way of taking care of yourself won’t include placing worth on a scale. What about your peace of mind? Why wouldn’t that be something to consider worthy? I like to think of peace as something that happens on purpose. I hate that nagging feeling of chaos refusing to go away unless its confronted. If you ask me what the most important aspect to focus on well being is, my answer will always be self. Whatever that may mean to you. It doesn’t need to be cynical but understand that no one else is going to take care of you. You need to take care of yourself.
If you are anything like me, there are patterns and fears which I’ve held on to that have repeatedly shown up in one way or another. My underlying belief was that they come from outside of me. My self-labels play their role here too. This is how I know to react to this, this is what I do, this is who I am. If I start dating, switch up my lifestyle, change my job and maybe even my location, then all will be good. The reality is that they do not come from outside of me. They are me. Wherever I go, there they are. I cannot escape my experiences no matter how fast I run. It doesn’t matter what my current job is or where I live, pain will sit on the back burner, waiting to be miraculously healed through association until I stop wishing something outside of me will make it better. If you can realise that life is happening for you, not to you, you will start to see your choices reflect within all moments, whether good or bad. Which is why we need to talk about how much our lives are worth. It’s time to learn the difference between spaces that heal, and spaces that desensitise.